Friday, July 18, 2008

Connar and the Pacifier Cycle

I'm pretty excited about Connar's sleeping. He went 6 hours last night between feedings! From 12:00-6:00 am. Unfortunately he sleeps like the Bucs played after they won their Super Bowl in 2003. He has yet to put back-to-back "wins" together and will probably go for three hours tonight. But there's some promise....

Anyhow, one thing we do to try to calm him and make him sleepy is to use the pacifier. It has quite the soporific effect. Sometimes Connar loves the pacifier. Sometimes he spits it out. And as soon as he spits it out, he wants it back in. He enjoys the pacifier, then spits it back out. And sometimes he won't take it at all.

I think Connar's use of the pacifier parallels our own desire for intimacy and relationship. At some levels, we crave intimacy. To be known, to be known deeply. Yet we are scared to be known because we don't want people to really know our thoughts and hearts. Their filled with all kinds of stuff. We're ashamed, and so we pull away. And yet don't want to be unknown and so we draw close only to spit the relational pacifier right back out. Sometimes we don't want to have anything to do with intimacy.

We were created for relationship and intimacy because we are created in God's image. Because God is Trinitarian (deep relational intimacy existing among Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), and we're made to reflect something about Him, we obviously are made for relationships and intimacy. Yet sin entered the world and Adam and Eve hid from God and each other by covering themselves with leaves. They spit the proverbial first pacifier out on the ground. And we've been spitting it out, and crying for it to be put back in, and enjoying it, and then spitting it out again, and refusing it back. And so goes the pacifier cycle.

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