When people in your church move away....

Several of the families that my wife and I consider close friends are being transferred out of state. That means we won't be seeing them much anymore. And that is sad for us. And it is sad for our church not only because we loved them for who they were, but because they brought their gifts and passions to Redeemer. We'll miss them personally, as well as their gifts.

Two nights ago I pondered this "exodus" for a bit. Is it worth getting close to people who may very well move in a year or two? Should we protect ourselves from this potential heartache? Should we be careful to befriend those who are more likely to stay in the area for a while?

Here are some thoughts

1.) Love vs. Self Protection: Much of what passes for love these days is nothing but self-protection. In other words, we say, "Yes" to some people and "No" to others to protect ourselves from their displeasure.  But if love keeps no record of wrongs (I Cor 13), it always opens itself to being wronged or hurt. Sometimes this hurt is not caused by any intentional or even unintentional sin (though this is often the case). Sometimes its caused by a job transfer. And if we let the "well this person could move and then I'd be hurt" mentality to creep in, we've protected ourselves but not loved. And love that Christians have for another ought to appear unique before the world: by this all men will know we are His disciples, if we love one another (John 13:35).

2.) God's love moves toward people. That has to be our definition of love. This quote from Ed Welch's When People are Big, God is Small, offers much to the challenge of befriending people who may move away from us.

In light of Hosea, such a strategy (never allowing oneself to get hurt by someone who could leave) is no longer an option for the Christian. God's love is a costly love. It never takes the easy path away from relationships. Instead, it plots how to move toward other people. It thinks creatively of ways to surprise them with love. 

3.) Losing people?  I hate "losing" people whom I love and who love me, and support and serve the local church. I've "lost" friends time and time again due to moves (I still keep in touch with some, but its obviously a different relationship). But I have to remember that they are not MY sheep. They're not yours either. They're Jesus' sheep. I'm just an "under-shepherd"(I Peter 5). So if He sees fit to shuffle sheep by moving them out of state, He has that right. I don't have to like it, and I can be frustrated and saddened, but I do have to recognize His right. And He seems to know more than I do, so that really helps too.

4.) A mindset of sending, as opposed to hoarding. Naturally we tend to hoard our blessings instead of sharing them, whether it be a good dessert, friends, family, or finances. Pastors and parishioners alike can be guilty of this when it comes to people in the church. But hoarding products or people is really contrary to the purpose of blessing (Gen 12:1-3). After a season of being blessed with good relationships and fellow laborers in the gospel, do we even consider that God may want us to bless others by sending our dear friends out or releasing them? Are we really quick, or even open, to send out families we love to serve as missionaries, or plant churches, or to move?

When people are "sent" in the traditional way missionaries are sent, that's one thing. We have a category for that. Yet often God sends people to serve in different places via a job change. They are still sent, as God determines the exact places where we live (Acts 17:26). And that's how the gospel really went out in the beginning: some were commissioned to go, but others were "sent" or "scattered" by persecution (Acts 8:1-4).

5.) It is always better to have loved/been loved and "lost" than not to have loved/been loved at all. When people love us and we love them, we and they are always better for it. One lad told me the other day that he had a "mini-revival" while at Redeemer. I'm glad for HIS SAKE that he was here. And I'm glad for MY SAKE that somehow I, and the rest of the church family, played a part in that. Despite the sad departure, loving them and being loved by them was worth it. It always is and always will be.

Just some things to think about when friends leave your church family. Simply writing these down has helped me look at people leaving in a different way.

Advent: Week 1 devotion

There's nothing greater to me than the Christmas season. I love it. I know that some folks have a hard time with Christmas because of the number of bad experiences with previous Christmases. For instance, one of my idols Steve Brown, has a rough time because of an alcoholic father. Others experience the loss of loved ones for the first time, and I can only imagine how hard that is. 

I guess that's why I appreciate advent so much. It's more than just Christmas.

Advent is a celebration and thanksgiving for what Jesus has already done, and yet a longing for him to finish the work He started. It's a time of thankfulness. It's a time of hopeful petition: the very nature of petitions is that you need something!

Advent marks a mixture of celebration, the kind of which John the Baptist experienced in the womb of Elizabeth (Luke 1:44). And its a time of longing, like John must have experienced in prison, when he wondered, "What's the deal with this Messiah?"(Matthew 11:2-3). Jesus responded to him, "I've done enough now that you can wait and trust me to finish it later.

Advent helps us capture and couch our emotions and center them around Christ. I hope our joy would be more robust and grounded, while our longings bust forth more honest and hopeful. Can you tell I'm a advent fan?

Here is a link to week 1's devotions. It comes with 6 daily devotions and one family devotion. Hope you enjoy them.

Thankful for a different kind of present (amended)

A Sunday or two ago I preached a sermon on anxiety (since I'm well qualified to speak about the subject!) from Phil 4:6-7 called "I got a peacful easy feeling." In it I referenced the book A Praying Life by Paul Miller. If you haven't read this book, it's definitely worth checking out. CBD Reformed has it on sale Black Friday for 5 dollars. It is the only book that I've seen on prayer which has really connected prayer to life. That and its one of the better devotional books I've ever read. Check it out. No one has ever returned my recommendation with anything less than praise to God for it.

The book is so honest and real, just like our prayers should be. Our prayers are not detached from life. In fact, even when we are invited to lay our requests before the Lord (activity), we do this with thanksgiving (lifestyle). I tend to think the command in Phil 4 means more than just saying "thanks" the way we make our kids say "thanks" when the bakery gives them a cookie. It means a regularly thankful heart.

Paul Miller does a fine job of explaining the connection between thanksgiving, asking, and the experience of peace in the life of a believer. I would include a snippet if I could find it in the book-but believe me, it is not for lack of trying. He reminds us that a thankful heart is a life constantly on the lookout for God's hand in the story.

And sometimes the things we should be thankful for are those which we are not usually thankful for. It's not too hard to be thankful for friends, family, food, or football on Thanksgiving. In seminary, one my professors encouraged us to be on the lookout for people who would be hard to deal with, and who may possibly drain or annoy us. He said, "You need those people as well. Look at them as a present from the Lord giftwrapped with a bow on top." He instructed us to consider them presents, not problems, because God would use them to teach us more about our need to grow in grace. God could use them to develop us in special ways where "easier" types of folks would not "grant" us the opportunity. 

Unfortunately, he didn't necessarily take his own advice in one particularly important instance. However, that truth is nevertheless still true and timeless. I'm thankful for his challenge, although I've not done the best job of heeding his council.

We can be on the lookout not just for those obviously thank-able things, but for those "presents" which at first glance don't seem very much like presents. God loves us too much to leave us where we are. He loves us too much to not reveal more of our need for His Son Jesus. Knowing more of Jesus is just too great a gift for Him to withhold from us (Phil 3:8). When we see God really does love us so much he won't deny us such presents, we may find ourselves less burdened and more receptive to what God is teaching us through them. We've then opened the door to real thanksgiving and ultimately a greater experience of a Christ-centered peace.

This thanksgiving season, try not to overlook such "presents," remembering to be thankful for more than family, food, friends, and football on Turkey Day. 

Gospel-centered social media

This post is intended to be a recap of what we've been doing in Redeemer's Jr High youth group. However, it is quite applicable to all of us insecure generations living in the age of social media.

Social media like Facebook can be very helpful to stay in touch with people that you don't regularly see. The youth were quick to pick up some positives about things like texting/social media, but a little slower to see some of the negatives. However, most of the kids eventually either pointed out or agreed with the fact facebook/texting provides a "great" place to hide from people. Folks will often post or text "bold" words that they will not say in person. 

So we considered the simple question: Why? 

Genesis 3 gives us a pretty good picture of why this happens. As soon as sin entered into the world, Adam and Eve tried in vain to cover themselves and their shame. They hid behind leaves. That's why we have a tendency to hide behind a computer or cell phone screen.

So when we text message or do facebook posts that we would never say in person, it goes back to the fact that we really are not believing the gospel as much as we think. Since our sin is rooted in disbelief-as it always has from the beginning-we need to recognize that hiding behind a screen is tantamount to not believing the gospel: what Jesus has already accomplished. 

Romans 8:31-35 says that we are not condemned and no one can bring a charge against God's chosen ones. The more we believe that, the less we'll hide behind a screen. We can say things that people need to hear even if they don't want to hear them. We can then not write things that we should say in person. We can then not text things we shouldn't say at all. The more we believe the free we are to love each other.

The following Sunday we considered  how to actually use facebook/texting in a positive way. Ephesians 4:25-32 lays out some commands for verbal communication. But since much of our communication is now not verbal (for better or worse-probably latter), but written, the same thing applies to texting and facebook. Things like speaking truth in love, as opposed to responding hastily in anger or with slander, seemed to resonate with the youth. 

We instructed them to NOT EVER respond by facebook or texting while angry. I promised them, they will NEVER say, "I really wish I would have responded right away, because I would have had such great gospel centered things to say to that person that ticked me off." They will always be glad they waited. But few of us ever take the time to not respond right away. It's hard, but not impossible.

Of course the only way to do this behavior, is to go back to the gospel. Ephesians 4:32 reminds us that we forgive others as God in Christ has forgiven us. Regardless of whether the other party has repented or not, we can have compassion because God has first shown us compassion. And when we screw up on facebook and texting, and don't believe the gospel as deeply as we need, we can be rest assured that Jesus never hid behind fig leaves or a computer screen. He never slandered though he was slandered. He did it for us so that need not fear God's retribution. 

In the end, that's really the only way we become motivated to encourage one another through our text messages and facebook posts. We could have spent 30 minutes telling the youth to NOT post/text mean things, but instead TO post nice things. That would have been practical. However, that would have been no different than if they were being taught in a synagogue or a mosque. The gospel is what sets our message apart from the rest, providing forgiveness as well as power. After going back to the gospel, we then discussed some practical implications which stem from belief in it.

If you made it this far, and God bless you if you did, you've probably realized this post is just as applicable for you as it is for youth.

Money and Ministry: the lack of one doesn't necessarily hurt the other

Most churches, church members, pastors would prefer larger budgets, because larger budgets can mean more ministry to others inside and outside the church. Ministry does cost something. It costs time, commitment, and money. So churches need to take in tithes, which in turn fund budgets; a budget is just a bunch of numbers unless there is actually money in the bank. And this article in World Magazine explains that tithing is at its lowest in 41 years. This study was done with mainline churches, which already seem on the decline-so obviously tithing will be declining. Yet as I hear from other evangelical churches, the tithing tragedy probably affects many churches in America. I don't want to get into the "why," but how churches, can do more with less.

First of all, instead of an alarmist "sky is falling b/c the church has less money" mentality, we probably need a bit of perspective. As above stated, larger budgets can mean more ministry. They can, but they don't necessarily mean more ministry is actually being done. Like a parent who gives his/her youth 20 dollars for fast food on a one day retreat-and doesn't ask for the change back-we know that money that can be spent, will be often be spent. Because it can. 

But when money is tighter, we have the option to examine what needs to be spent, versus what can be spent. Sometimes it can mean that we are better stewards of God's money. Sometimes it can mean we truly do more with less.

For instance, you might have 500 budgeted dollars for a fellowship event. With that money, you could cater bbq. It would be tasty. Or let's say you had 50 dollars, or even nothing. You could just have the church go potluck. This way, you save money, and the food is probably nearly as good. Plus you involve the congregation. You can involve your family in preparation, and teach them about fellowship and giving to others that which is good and precious to you (its kind of hard for me to share good food).  I would say more ministry has just happened because you had less money.

Don't equate budgeted/spent money with an illusion that more ministry is actually happening or the opposite as well: less money=less ministry.

Much ministry doesn't cost much money.

Think of C.D. groups (community/discipleship) or whatever you call them (small groups, Life Groups, community groups), how much do those things cost? The price of electricity, water/sewer, and a dessert. Not much. Yet I've seen first hand people come to faith, grow in the faith, begin to serve the church, and want to bring those outside the church in. Real life-changing ministry often happens on the cheap. In relationships. In community. 

Most of us do like to pay for ministry more than do ministry ourselves. That way we don't have to enter into the mess, and get messy. But for the price of a cup of a coffee, you can meet with and minister to someone who is going through a tough marriage, dealing with a tough child, a tough illness, has a tough question, tough sin struggle, etc....For the price of a cup of coffee, or a donut (that's what I do every Wed morning) you can meet with and disciple someone who is younger in the faith than you. And then THEY can start ministering to others. Good things happen. Relationships are costly in terms of time and emotion, but they are also cheap in terms of money. And yet the yield is tenfold. 

Ministry still does cost some money.

I don't have a budget for our CD group to purchase materials. So we (my co-leader and I) just buy the materials ourselves. A novel thought-things we can buy, we should buy. I think 10 dollars every 3-4 months is probably not that big of an investment. Other groups do the same thing, and we're seeing the fruit. Ministry doesn't stop when the tithing drops. 

Instead of a traditional VBS (which had nothing really to do with lack of funding), I wanted to try something more outward focused. So we did a "Kids Club" at a local income restricted apartment complex. People were HAPPY to donate to this. We spent very little, and yet were able to share the gospel with a more kids than came to our VBS. Then we turned around and did 2 "Bible Clubs" for kids in our church and neighborhood friends. Some members donated stuff and we spent little. But some folks spent little or nothing, because other folks donated and spent some money, and were glad to do it.

A neighborhood Xmas party, small group Xmas party where you invite unchurched friends to doesn't cost much more than a normal Xmas party you might already throw. I've done several of these out of my house and seen youth step up and lead well. It doesn't show up in the church budget, but it is ministry. And it does cost you some. It cost several involved families money, but I think they were happy to spend some. Isn't the ministry opportunity an eternal investment?

Something that Amy and I will be doing is buying the Jesus Storybook Bible for some of our unchurched friends-who still, thankfully, think Jesus is cool. Lifeway is selling them for 5 dollars on either Black Friday or Cyber Monday. Tim Challies is updating all of the deals on his website. Just scroll down to find the apropos post. This will cost you some money, but it will be worth it. If you don't have one for your toddler-Kindergartener, get it. You'll be hooked and handing them out to neighbors. We already have, and will be doing it some more this Xmas.

Ministry does cost. Sending missionaries cost money. Sunday School material costs money. When someone calls and legitimately needs money, that, obviously costs money. So I hope that people tithe and give generously to the local church, to missions, church planting, and other personal/group ministry opportunities.  Ministry cost some money, but it costs more time than money. It costs YOU. If you find yourself lamenting that your particular church can't do as much as you'd like it to do, consider all of the many cheap (and costly) that are waiting for you. You might have missed them if your budget/tithing was bigger. And in the end, Jesus said we find our life by giving it away (Matthew 10:39). 

Calling without "altar calling"

No one has asked me why I don't do altar calls. However, my step-grandmother (for a few months) several years back, did say she wanted me to speak at her funeral and "do an altar call." I can't remember how I responded, and I'm not sure that she has even remembered that request. But I think that we should at least have a robust reason why we do or don't do them.

I grew up in an evangelical P.C.U.S.A. church which has a tradition of not doing altar calls. Yet I came forward to trust Christ at a revival-although I think they called it a "renewal" we had at that church. I think it was at this time when I was truly "born again." But uncertain of my salvation, I came forward another time at a Methodist church altar call during a youth day camp. These are the first, but not last, "altar call" moments I can remember.

I've also "come forward" for different times of "re-dedication" or commitment to do certain things like commit to missions. I've never noticed any difference in my life after these times.

Ironically-or maybe not ironically-I felt guilty for not raising my hand "to be counted" among those who made decisions at a college retreat. Yet that was the time when my life most changed.

At the Gospel Coalition, they welcome folks to ask them all kinds of questions. This altar call question came up, and here is their response. All I've written is from an experiential perspective, and perhaps from a pragmatic perspective-(it doesn't seem to "work"). There are other reasons why I feel uncomfortable with doing an altar call. But these folks say it just about as well as I could myself. So check it out here.

It's a gracious response (a lot of Christians can be jerks when they disagree), not attacking those who do altar calls, but simply why it can be good or better NOT to do them, and what we can do in their place. Certainly when we preach or teach at any level, we have to continually call people to respond to the gospel, whether it be for the first time or the thousandth. I don't do a very good job at calling people to respond for the first time-to become as a Christians-as well as I do calling Christians to come back to the gospel. Articles like these challenge me to not just say No to the practical application (altar call), but to recognize the correct heart behind it (to call non-Christians to repent and believe). Even though I disagree with this 18th-19th century invention, I am still challenged to intentionally and deliberately call unbelievers to repentance and faith.

Here's on of the articles practical applications from a Baptistic point of view I think is worth thinking about.

Invite people throughout your sermon to "repent and be baptized" like Peter did in Jerusalem (Acts 2:38). But when you do, don't just stand there waiting with emotionally charged music playing, staring them down until they relent. Rather, make several suggestions about how and where to discuss the matter further.

Check the rest out here. 

Another untraditional QB

Yesterday I commented on how I think God has lifted Tebow up, but has done it in such a way as only God can receive the glory-and then Tebow can bask in that. The polarization of Tebow stems partially from his outspoken Christianity.

But some of his larger critics are in fact professing Christians. Former Buc's QB, Trent Dilfer is certainly one of them. I'm not surprised that "the Dilf" has taken issue with Tebow because he is a fellow brother in the Lord. I'm surprised that "the Dilf" has taken issue with Tebow because "the Dilf" was not a traditional quarterback either. Or at least not a "traditionally" good QB. You don't typically win a Super Bowl and then get cut by your team soon afterwards if you are a good QB. Yet he did. Then he went on to Seattle, to Cleveland, to San Francisco. Traditionally good QB's don't pack their bags that often.

Yet "the Dilf" won a super bowl with the Ravens when his replacement couldn't win games. The replacement the following year just didn't work, and they didn't enjoy the same success as they had with "the Dilf."

"The Dilf" was far from a traditional QB because he wasn't asked to win the game. He was told "to manage" the game. That's it. Don't lose it, just manage it. He was a "non-traditional" QB, who temporarily was lifted up despite his lack of "traditional" QB skills.

He was lifted up, winning the highest honor a QB can have: a super bowl victory. Yet he couldn't boast in how well he played because the defense was clearly the ones who would receive the most glory. Lifted up and then humbly cut just months later. 

So that is why its so surprising that "the Dilf" has become such a Tebow "hater." They are not only brothers in the Lord; they are brothers in the "non-traditional" QB family. 

When we forget that we've been lifted up ONLY because of Jesus' good pleasure (even the good things we do are ultimately produced through His power-Phil 2:11-12), we will not only be prone to arrogance, but prone to disdain the grace and joy of others who've been humbly lifted up as well.