"R" is for RELAX, just ask Frankie

"Relax, don't do it, when you want to go to it." - Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Continuing in the acronym PRE-HEAT, I want to briefly look at the "R" now. I can't speak for all women, but I can speak for Amy (and the same goes for myself). We need to relax. We both believe God is Sovereign and in control of all things. We also believe that doesn't negate human responsibility. Both are true.

But when responsibility bumps up against sovereignty, sovereignty always wins. What I mean is that you can be completely irresponsible and do all the wrong things, and God can still redeem the situation. And you can be completely responsible, and not see the outcome you so desired.

Amy and I often err on the side of responsibility, so that causes us not to be lazy (and that's good), but it also keeps us from relaxing (not good). Whether its child rearing, going to work, worrying about children, relationships, family, or whatever, a good prayer is for women to be able to relax. For Amy, relaxing that bills will be paid, Connar will love Jesus, learn to listen, and speak in real sentences some day. Relaxing is hard for someone chasing after a rambunctious 23 month old little boy, and will only get harder when the next child hits the scene.

In Colossians 1:29, Paul speaks of "his (Christ's) energy, which so powerfully works in me." That's why we can hopefully pray for women who are juggling 30 things, to relax even amidst their labors. Now this doesn't negate the necessity to actually relax, stop working, and take a sabbath rest or even a daily break with a glass of sweet tea or wine. But before that time, my prayer is that Amy feels relaxed amidst her busyness, responsibilities, and concerns.

From Thuggins to Huggins

I used to call West Virginia basketball coach Bob Huggins, "Thuggins." That's primarily who he recruited-in my opinion-while at the University of Cincinnati. With a sub-par graduation rate for his players, I never really thought too highly of him. Then I moved to West Va and began to follow his new team. And so I followed "Thuggins" too. My opinions of this coach changed drastically as he wisely coached players who did not bear any resemblance to the top athletes of other programs. Then the Final Four came and this happened.

All American Da'sean Butler tore his A.C.L. while trying to avoid a charge. He didn't and his college career ended in agony. The video depicts Huggins intimately holding Butler's head up and somewhat caressing his face with his fingers. Some folks like sports reporter Dan Patrick have called it "creepy." And perhaps it was a bit over the top?

But there was never any doubt in Butler's mind that he indeed had a coach who would be with him in his pain and suffering. I don't see any in the NFL who care that much. They try to distance themselves from the players, with the exception of the Buc's coach (who has won all of the 3 games).

Of all the religions, only Christianity has a God who suffered. And as a result, he is able to be right there with us in our suffering. Holding, and caressing, and whispering, "Behold, I am making all things new. And I'm right here with you as one who suffered too."

Thanks Huggins. I guess you lived up to your name, so I'll drop the "T." Most of the time. I like the nickname too much to entirely get rid of it, but it will from now on, only be in jest. After all, any coach who visits coal miners families in the midst of their suffering is cool with me.

The "P" in PREHEAT

Now to start with the prayers. The "P" in PREHEAT stands for protection. I want to be regularly praying for Amy to not only be protected (actually) but also to feel protected (existentially). My favorite Psalm is 91, where the psalmists describes God as a "refuge" and "fortress."

While Amy is driving-which she hates-I pray God to be a refuge and fortress to not only keep her safe, but allow her to feel safe.

And obviously women are more prone to violent attack or rape, so it would be foolish to simply ignore prayers for such protection in today's world. In addition to physical protection, a helpful paradigm from my Reformed tradition is the "world, flesh, and devil."

"Devil"

Women, the same as men, are subject to spiritual attack. So it would likewise be foolish to ignore this aspect-though most often presbyterians (and I) do. Satan can easily place little doubts, like "Am I a good enough wife? A good enough Mom? Fit or trim enough? Pretty enough?" To take down a man, Satan will often go after his wife so that he can get a two-for-one deal.

"Flesh"=our tendency to struggle with general and specific sin

A prayer of protection for daughters, sisters, and friends could deal with protection from "settling." It's sad and far too predictable how young women settle for dudes who are just too spiritually immature or are unbelievers. So Queen's "Another one bites the dust" just plays in the background of their lives, but never loud enough for them to hear it. We really need to be praying not just for patience and protection but for the actual provision of godly husbands.

"World" = the specifically sinful cultural assumptions

Our ladies need protection from the world's depiction of success: career woman, perfect super soccer mom, completely independent, sexy pre-baby bodies even for mothers who've had many children. Of course Christian ghettos have their own unhealthy depictions of what moms and women are supposed to be, but I don't have time to go into those. I would categorize them under "world" just as Jesus categorized the religious and cultural assumptions of his day which were contrary to scripture. But those don't seem as much of an issue where I'm serving now, so I'll leave it at that.

One man wisely said, "I'm not man enough to be a woman." I agree. At the heart level, the only weapons we have against this battle are sacrificial and active love, God's word, and prayer, so lads, let's get to it.

PREHEAT

"Jefe...You do not understand women....." El Guapo

What better way to introduce the subject of praying for women than El Guapo from Three Amigo's?

I've spent a little time lately trying to develop a practical grid for helping we husbands, and lads in general (this grid should help friends, brothers, fathers as well) pray for their lady-friends.
Amy will come on after me and give us some thoughts on praying for your man-friends. I love that word, if it is one.

Anyhow, the acronym I'm going to try to put to good use is PREHEAT. Now please don't think I associate women with pre-heating an oven. I'm not a male chauvinist pig comparable to El Guapo (the "handsome one"). I may be 2 out of 3, eating like a pig, but I don't think I'm a chauvinist.

I simply put down seven areas to correspond to days in the week I wanted to pray for Amy, and the first letters seemed to form this word.

But I think it also is more than a meaningless acronym. Our prayer for our women ought to ultimately be that they "heat" up during the day. That they exhibit the "heat" (feeling/heart) and "light" (knowing truth/head) from God. So in a way, I hope my prayers in the morning would serve as a pre-heating device like turning on the oven. And of course that it would heat up throughout the day.

This is a work in progress. Women and men, please feel free to share and reflect with comments. I'm not trying to get a book deal out of this thing-though I wouldn't turn one down of course! I'm just trying to come up with an aid which may be helpful to move us all to more specific and regular prayer for the women in our lives.

Tomorrow I shall explore the "P."

Easter Devotion by Justin Taylor

Brief Easter devotion here on the mysterious thief on the cross who had a "change of heart." It's a good one.

By Next Friday, The Friday after Next, or Seven Fridays it became "Good Friday"

Last week, our senior pastor Barret mentioned the name "Good Friday" and how weird that name sounds. Right now its sunny in West VA-which I'm just loving now-and so the day looks "good" to me. But for that first Good Friday, it was anything but good for Jesus. And to be honest, because the disciples didn't understand, it was anything but good for them. How could something so brutal, so devastating be "good?" Even the day looked anything but "good;" instead a darkness fell over the land (Matt 27:45).

But it was good for them that Jesus leave. His words, translated into English in the ESV, are "It is to your advantage that I go away....(John 16:7)" If he didn't "go away" via the cross, we'd not have forgiveness, a new power, a new family, a new world one day, and of course a new Spirit within us.

And it was good for Jesus in that he purchased redemption of the whole cosmos (Col 1) and all death will one day be under his feet (I Cor 15), that every knee will bow and give glory to Him (Phil 2), and that the church he put His love on before the foundation of the world would cherish Him forever at a wedding feast (Rev 19).

It probably took the disciples a little while to consider that Friday a "Good Friday." Maybe not by the next Friday, but perhaps the Friday after next? At the very latest it would have taken seven Fridays (till Pentecost-the giving of the Holy Spirit).

Good Friday is our example of how God can turn injustice into victory for His people. It is indeed a Good Friday.

Husbandly prayers a comin soon

Someone suggested I do a series on praying for wives. I responded favorably to this person, because, quite frankly, she has good ideas. Second of all, she's been thinking through this in large part due to her re-reading A Praying Life, which is the best darn book on prayer I've ever read. I recommend you check it out. Before too long, I'm going to try to get something going at Redeemer which studies this book.

Third of all, I need to do a better job of specifically praying for my lovely wife Amy. I don't say that with false humility, as though I really pray an hour a day for her and just "feel" like its not enough. I need to grow in this area because the enemy would love to bring her down (bring her down to China town like Robert Deniro in Meet the Parents), especially here in WV, where the god of this age has blinded the hearts of many from the gospel in favor of a be-good and try-hard, rules-first type false gospel. He's not happy we're here as I've been warned (after I signed on of course!) and experienced.

Anyhow, as a result of these posts, I feel like I'll be more structured and intentional in doing battle with the Spirit for the heart of Amy: that she would fully delight in the gospel. For husbands reading these posts, I hope that it will beneficial to you in praying for your wives. I don't consider myself an authority on anything outside of using artificial jerkbaits for snook in shallow water grass flats on an outgoing tide.

So I welcome your comments on praying for your wives. Please comment.

For wives, I hope these posts can encourage you to expect bigger prayer from your husbands. We men are always running from real sacrificial leadership-either running over by dominating or by running away to work or hobbies. We need to be challenged by our wives. We should have no problem with our wives coming up to us and saying, "How seriously are you praying for me, my heart, my challenges, my world, etc..."

So I hope women will boldly approach their husbands, parents, siblings, male friends, and expect bigger things.

Finally, Amy will be guest blogging, and discussing how women can better pray for their husbands. I'm really excited about this. Should be fun ya'll.