A different kind of tone deaf

Its not what you say but how you say it. Heard that one before? I've heard it plenty of times. El Guapo (from The Three Amigos) might say I've heard it a plethora of times. He would probably be correct.

Every so often Amy gets concerned over my 'tone.' Unfortunately she's not the only one to question my tone when I'm disagreeing or debating. Sometimes I'm aware of it, and the tone comes from a sense of anger or defense. At other times, the tone may sound harsh, and not only will I be unaware of the tone, but the heart behind the tone will NOT be defensive or malicious.

Since sometimes I'm unaware of the tone myself, it would be helpful to have it recorded some time so I can hear it. I don't propose having someone follow me around with a video camera like Paris Hilton. That would be far too incriminating.
However the other day, I was caught on tape, so to speak. I left something at home, as I usually do before church one Sunday. So I 'kindly' requested through the answering machine that Amy pick up the phone ASAP. She did eventually.

She said my tone was back, and I of course denied it. I didn't really have any anger in my heart, so I assumed she was imagining this tone. Well it was on our answering machine, and there could be no denying it. Tone was quite present.

I didn't feel 'tonal,' but I certainly sounded tonal. One more lesson to teach me that its more than what you say, "Its how you say it." Supposedly communication is 80 % non verbal (I've heard different numbers, all of which seem too high). If that's the case, the remaining 20 % is probably 90% tonal, and 10% content.