On Joe Staley, writing scripts, and discerning gifts

San Francisco Offensive Tackle Joe Staley wasn't always an offensive tackle. He was one of the players who tried to avoid getting tackled, after he caught the ball. In high school he played wide receiver. 

But everything changed in college.

I started out as a skinny 200 pound wide receiver coming out of high school,” Staley said. “I was a sprinter and all of that stuff. I was really fast. I ran a 21 in the 200. Then I got fat. I went to college. Brian Kelly came in my sophomore year. Played tight end my freshman year in college. Brian Kelly came in and said ‘We do not use tight ends in our offense but we want to keep you on the field in some way. We are going to move you to tackle.’ I cried my eyes out. I am not afraid to admit it. Almost transferred but then stayed, gained weight, busted my butt and got drafted.

He was a first round draft pick and is now playing a prized position Left Tackle, in the Super Bowl. Not exactly how he would have "drawn it up," but I don't see him having any problems with the "script." Here are a few thoughts.

1.) Sometimes, or rather quite often, the scripts that are written for us by God are far different than the scripts we draw up for ourselves. But they are always better. Not better in a more lucrative, more high profile way (although they may be sometimes like this one), but better in a redemptive way. God will always make the script redemptive, and He will do it in at least two ways. First of all, He is redeeming you from the power of sin and using your situation in unique ways, which may not (I can't prove this part but I think its true) be the case in a different situation. But secondly, and sometimes this is actually easier to see, your script is redemptive for others. This perspective is more easily forgotten.

In II Cor 1:3-11, Paul explains that his affliction (not the way he would write his script if he had a say), opens the door for God's comfort, which can be experienced in all situations. But his afflictions and the comfort which follow has become part of Paul's script SO THAT others can be comforted. The script God writes for individuals is not only for individuals but FOR OTHERS. My depression, and back surgery at young age, were/are intended not only for my comfort and redemption/sanctification but for the comfort, redemption/sanctification of others.

I'm aware of individuals coming to faith simply because of the affliction/comfort of another. Affliction/comfort is evangelistic at times. Our scripts aren't over. We know the end. We just don't know the middle, but we know that God has our good-and the good of others through us-in mind more than Brian Kelly had Joe Staley's best interests in mind.

2.) Transition from the front to behind-the-scenes. No position in football is less glamorous then offensive lineman. They are usually fat, wear knee braces, and no one knows their names unless they give up a sack or get a penalty. No position is more glamorous then wide receiver. Running backs don't last that long. Receivers get more miles, and thus more publicity, and contract extensions. Yet few positions are more important than offensive lineman. They can make QB's and running backs look good. They can make wide receivers look good because they give them time to get open. 

Sometimes public spiritual gifts are more valued today, as they were in Corinth. Preaching is important, but without evangelists bringing folks, who would there be to preach? To go from a public ministry like leading a bible study to something more behind-the-scenes can be tough. I love this honesty.

I cried my eyes out. I am not afraid to admit it. Almost transferred but then stayed... 


It was hard. He cried. He almost left. I wish there were more "almost's" in churches today instead of the quick flight to somewhere else that "truly appreciates me and my gifts."

Now this transition may just be for a season. There may be new opportunities and gift development. Or it may be for a career (like Joe Staley). But remember behind-the-scenes-gifts are every bit as important.

3.) Gifts are best discovered and developed in community. It took someone else to recognize that Joe Staley wasn't going to be a productive wide receiver at the college level. It wasn't Joe. He wouldn't have made that choice. Spiritual gifts inventory tests can be quite helpful. But they are no substitute for asking someone, "Where do you see me best serving and being used?" Other people are fallible. But so are you and I. The more folks involved in discerning spiritual gifts, the less fallibility (as a general rule).

I've never been a fan of Brian Kelly. But I'm thankful, as I'm sure Joe is, that he loved Joe (or perhaps the success of his offense) enough to tell him the truth and get the most out of his gifting.

Brady Quinn, Real Relationships, and Aunt Bessy's Hemarrhoids

I have to say I never was much of a Brady Quinn fan. First of all he came from Notre Dame, and then there was some weirdness with he and Tebow in Denver. But after yesterday, count me among the converted.

In case you didn't hear, Kansas City Chief's linebacker Jovan Belcher murdered his girlfriend and then committed suicide at the Chief's complex this past Saturday. The Chief's then turned around and played the next day without their starting linebacker and beat the Carolina Panthers.

What "converted" me was not his ability to help lead his team to only their 2nd victory but what he said in the post game comments. Comments that had nothing to do with football but instead everything to do with relationships.

“The one thing people can hopefully try to take away, I guess, is the relationships they have with people,” Quinn told reporters after the game.  “I know when it happened, I was sitting and, in my head, thinking what I could have done differently.  When you ask someone how they are doing, do you really mean it?  When you answer someone back how you are doing, are you really telling the truth?


“We live in a society of social networks, with Twitter pages and Facebook, and that’s fine, but we have contact with our work associates, our family, our friends, and it seems like half the time we are more preoccupied with our phone and other things going on instead of the actual relationships that we have right in front of us.  Hopefully, people can learn from this and try to actually help if someone is battling something deeper on the inside than what they are revealing on a day-to-day basis.”

Here are some of my thoughts on his comments.

1.) First of all, I love how he is willing to try and learn anything from this malfeasance without assuming blame. Several folks noted that they deemed nothing wrong with Belcher or his relationship with his girlfriend. But obviously there was something wrong with Belcher, if not with Belcher and his girlfriend. And it is clear that someone knew about these problems and was seeking to do something about it. Apparently.......

That detail was among the troubling revelations about a relationship that had more problems than previously realized. According to Kansas City Police Sgt. Richard Sharp, the team knew about their issues and was “bending over backward” to help.

And so it cannot be construed in any way to be the fault of Brady nor any of his teammates, nor anyone else that Belcher followed through on such machinations. In my mind he avoids the "We can't learn anything from this" and the  "It was our fault and his blood is on our hands," response that comes with situations such as this. Yet why not try to learn from the situation?

2.) In regards to "what we can learn," his wisdom exceeds his age (and career touchdowns) by a wide margin. More specifically as how it relates to truth in relationships.

When you ask someone how they are doing, do you really mean it?  When you answer someone back how you are doing, are you really telling the truth?

A. Do you mean it? I appreciate his challenge to ask and answer questions with a deeper concern for the truth. We could all do a better job at that. As Christians who live in the time after Jesus' first coming and before His Second Coming, we experience both the joys of redemption accomplished and applied to us now, and but still groan and long for the final redemption of our bodies in new world then (Rom 8:18-27). So we can say, "Yes I'm doing well," or "No life is rough right now." Both are consistent of our Christian experience now. 

B.Truth WILL ONLY be divulged in safe relationships. The deeper and more personal truths will only be revealed in really safe relationships.  Surface relationships will lead to shallow truth about someone. What you will/can tell about yourself and what they will/can tell you about themselves is probably only going to happen, at least on a regular basis, if you and they engage in deep and safe community. And deep and safe community only results when folks make time and commitment to be in such a deep and safe community.

C. Deep relationships don't necessarily lead folks to know you. 

I've been in community groups where I've come to know stuff about people. Sometimes more than I wanted to know (though I'm glad I did). I've been in community groups, as well, where I've known next-to-nothing about others. In such cases if they were to divorce or murder or commit suicide, or become depressed, I would have no idea. And that is sad but true. Deep relationships and community may be available and offered but just the presence of such a community does not mean folks will automatically take advantage of it. You and I may be in place to share our lives but stay silent or on the surface.

On the flip side you or I can be a part of a deep and safe community, but others may not divulge any poverty of spirit, material, joy, etc....Some folks, even despite deep and safe community, will divulge nothing. And it will be to their great loss.


D. Deep relationships and community always involve you taking the lead.

If you want to take seriously Brady Quinn's concerns, and he's only reiterating what it means to love your neighbor (you probably have heard that one before), then there is something you can do which may foster others being honest about their struggles. Someone has to take the lead. Such deep and safe communities/relationships don't automatically spring up. People will only go so far as you lead them. Yes there are exceptions for the guys/gals who wear hearts on their sleeves (or jackets for this time of year), but as a rule, people have to be led to share truth. And often they will only share something that is on the same level as that which has already been shared. For instance if you share, "I need prayer for Aunt Bessy, because she has hemarrhoid surgery," then don't expect to get back an, "I'm struggling with my child right now, as he is in a very difficult phase in my life, and I need prayer to love him through this, because right now I don't." Aunt Bessy's hemarrhoids will be covered in prayer, but the struggle of a parent to love his/her child will not. You won't even know that problem exists until you take the lead in sharing your personal struggles first. And this is hard. Very hard.

Deep relationships and community take time of course. But time alone is not enough. No one makes the "jump" unless you first lead them.

E. Technology and actual relationships don't naturally coexist. They don't appear to fight like cats and dogs, but the latter slowly loses that fight unless we intentionally value and prioritize real relationships. Emails and facebook can be very helpful, but they are at best only supplemental. You don't know someone, nor are you known by status updates. You know and are known by spending time together. The question is, "Is it worth it?" Brady says yes, and I think the "one another" passages in scripture suggest he didn't say it first. Again this is hard, and we have to get creative amidst certain seasons of life (and no matter how creative we get, some seasons don't afford much community/relationship development), but well worth it in the end.

We could all benefit from Brady's advice to intentionally put ourselves in the path of potentially deeper relationships not only to know but also to be known. Who knows what good could come? I would say a lot.

Consider me a Chief's fan for the rest of the season.

It's not time to go solo: "spiritual but not religious?"

Spiritual can have lots of meanings today. I've heard it used in ways that I'm pretty sure the framers of the word never intended. I went to a "spiritual" church, one that told me the future. My personal favorite is one I heard during a foreign study trip in college: "The most spiritual people I know are atheists." Hmmm.....

But then there are more common and more widely accepted uses of the term "spiritual." I guess it means I believe in God, but not "organized religion." How organized are you willing to go? Are Quakers too organized?

Anyhow....

Everyone has heard the age old euphemism "I'm spiritual but not religious." Not long ago the CNNbeliefblog ran this article "My take: I'm spiritual but not religious."  A non-pastor gives some helpful insight. That thinking needs retiring.

1.) It's helpful to realize that beliefs like this have a root. They don't just come out of nowhere. People don't just say, "I'm spiritual, not religious" without having already adopted some deeper picture of reality.

It is within the context of today's anti-big, anti-discipline, anti-challenging climate - in combination with a therapeutic turn in which everything can be resolved through addressing my inner existential being - that the spiritual but not religious outlook has flourished.

2.) While mega churches are not bad per se (probably many are much healthier than smaller shrinking ingrown churches), have profited from the most from this therapeutic driven, shallow, doctrine-less philosophy and way of life? This guy thinks so.

The boom in megachurches merely reflect this sidelining of serious religious study for networking, drop-in centers and positive feelings.

3.) Why does the "spiritual, but not religious" philosophy matter? The organized religion of Christianity has made possible a number of things we all hold precious in Western history and culture. Why should we embrace a worldview that won't allow for such creations?

Christianity has been interwoven and seminal in Western history and culture. As Harold Bloom pointed out in his book on the King James Bible, everything from the visual arts, to Bach and our canon of literature generally would not be possible without this enormously important work.


4.) What happens when we jettison sin? If we don't call "sin," sin, then we don't change. It is bad for us. It is bad for our families. It is bad for our neighbors, co-workers, etc....We accept an extremely selfish picture of ourselves with less concern on how our "sin" keeps us from loving others.

The idea of sin has always been accompanied by the sense of what one could do to improve oneself and impact the world.

Yet the spiritual-but-not-religious outlook sees the human as one that simply wants to experience "nice things" and "feel better." There is little of transformation here and nothing that points to any kind of project that can inspire or transform us.

This is what I think when I hear "spiritual but not religious"
 
1.) I rightly hate the hypocrisy of professing Christians (or you fill in the blank _____), but those people are beyond redemption. I'm so much better than them that it's waste of time to associate and gather which such people. I hate pride but I live just as pridefully.

2.) I rightly hate the negative experiences I've had with organized religion. I know people will hurt me in the same way with a new church because all churches operate in the same fashion. I won't give them the pleasure.

3.) I rightly hate people making up rules and telling me what to do. But I clearly know better than everyone else how to live and don't need any input in my life. I'd rather discover the truth for myself, even though the truth I discover will be completely shaped by what I want it to be.

4.) I would much rather serve myself than to serve other people and be concerned about their good. What matters most is what makes me happy. If there's some happiness left over, I'll try to do something nice for someone else.

5.) I don't want or need a community that can love me and speak truth to me. I don't need to be loved or to love. I'm a rock. And an island too, by the way.

6.) I worship God how I want to worship Him. If He exists, he's just happy to have someone as good as me pay Him a bit of attention. He likes it when I go hiking or fishing.

7.) My time is my time. I'm obviously busier than you are.

"Organized" churches have really done lots of damage to a number of people. As a result many have, like Vanilla Ice, felt "it's time to go solo." But in the end, "spiritual not religious" is the height of arrogance, selfishness, and foolishness.

The joy of putting God's glory in missions before your problems

I just read this morning about Paul's thorn in the flesh from II Corinthians 12. Would love to know what that "thorn" was, but nevertheless realize that information is actually quite immaterial. That's why he boasts in "weaknesses, insults, persecutions, difficulties." A number of things could fall into those categories.

One of my thorns is my house in FL. Can't sell it. Can't refinance it because I'm too far under-water on it. And every so often, I get news that something is broken that is NOT under the home warranty. I've pleaded with God to take it away from me, but its just not happening now.

At the beginning of missions week, I got notification that the garage door which I had already spent a few hundred dollars to get fixed in January is broken again. Not under warranty, again.

On the way to the missions prayer meeting, it was WHAT I was thinking about. As I walked into the church it was WHAT I was thinking about. But I asked God to change my heart, because I wasn't able to change it, and as usual, He did. To Him be the glory!

Here are some things I learned from last night's missions prayer meeting. Ultimately, what I learned was how God's Kingdom advancement can be so incredibly helpful, practical, and personally devotional.

1.) A Concern for missions (God being glorified by people who do not yet know Him in places where they haven't heard or responded) keeps you from focusing on your own problems. God receiving the glory due His name where He's not-as opposed to limiting the focus to the needs of others-is the fuel for missions. But a very helpful side affect is that we end up losing ourselves-and our problems-in that passion. The most self-satisfying thing you can do is to take your focus off yourself and onto God. The idea of "I need to first take care of myself," then I can take care of others might be from Oprah but not Jesus. I still have to find someone to fix my garage door in FL. Again. Yet God's developing a greater passion for missions in us increases our joy in His Kingdom coming down even when my garage door won't go up. There is joy to be claimed and experienced if we look not inside, but outside of ourselves, at God's active work in the world-of which he allows us to play a part-today.

2.) Need for community. I can't develop a passion for missions or a passion for God by myself. I really do need others. When I prayed that God would change my heart, He decided to use His people to play an integral part. A woman at the group was a Voice of the Martyrs representative in our area. She let us know that the Northern part of Nigeria is now one of the persecution "hotspots." She let us know that it appears nearly 5,000 Christians lost their lives over Easter. Wow. I needed to know that. And I needed someone else to tell me that WHEN she told me that. Never forsake your own need for community; and let that need drive you to community even if you don't feel like it or have other things to do.

If you're connected to Redeemer, come on out to the rest of the Missions Week as we have a dinner Wed and Friday night at 6 pm. Bring dessert or salad on Wed and dessert or chips on Friday.

The tension of spiritual gifts

The local church functions as a church only when its members are exercising their spiritual gifts. And below is a passage to remind us ALL gifts are vital for the health, mission, and multiplication of more churches.

1Cor. 12:14   For the body does not consist of one member but of many.  15 If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body.  16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body.  17 If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell?  18 But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose.  19 If all were a single member, where would the body be?  20 As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.

We need constant reminders that the public positions like teaching and preaching are not to be viewed as more important than more behind the scenes gifts like encouragement, mercy, hospitality, discernment, etc....But I'm realizing that even when gifts are believed to be equally important, there is still an issue. Knowing that alone doesn't help people get along. For instance, we can recognize the need for the diversity of gifts, but getting along within that diversity of gifts can become quite labor intensive. Someone gifted in teaching may not get along as well with someone gifted in evangelism; both can recognize the importance of the other, but they still don't live harmoniously.

We know that the Spirit doesn't give ALL gifts to each individual person. You wouldn't need community if that were the case. Instead he chooses to gift particular people with particular gifts. So not everyone is gifted at everything. Nothing new there. But what I'm beginning to think is that what makes someone gifted at one thing, makes them not so gifted at another, and in turn makes them more annoying to another. 

The person gifted in evangelism may not be as gifted in discipleship. He/she may be great at meeting, and making new contacts, have a boldness in sharing his/her faith, and see great fruit in his/her evangelism (new disciples are made). However that boldness might make them less tactful within the body of Christ or less patient with others to grow in their faith. The adventure of sharing the gospel, could make the laborious work of teaching or teaching prep seem like busy work. When you put these two people together on a team, what makes them so uniquely gifted, can be the very thing that causes friction between them. One is more bent toward reaching those outside the church and the other toward building up the body (although all believers are called to play some role in both). 

The person administratively gifted paired up with someone who is more creative and merciful, can obviously bring some tension. The creative merciful person might get his/her feelings hurt simply because he/she is more empathetic. What makes him/her merciful, is the very thing that might make him/her not good as a leader/administrator And what makes him/her creative, is what will drive the administrative person nuts. 

 

This is obviously true with personalities, but I'm beginning to think its also true with spiritual gifts.

The solution is to recognize not just that we are different and need each other, but that the very gift that makes us effective in one area, makes us ineffective in another. The very thing that makes us good in one area can (it doesn't always) then make relationships with those of differing gifts quite difficult.

But then we really do have to celebrate the gifts of others and recognize that if they were the way we wanted them to be, they wouldn't have the same gifting and personality and wouldn't bring to the body of Christ what we need them to bring (via the Spirit of course). And we need their gifts, even when their gifts will can bring tension.  We have to celebrate all the gifts, recognizing that differing gifts will bring both blessing and tension.

Peanuts, Utilitarianism, and the Gopsel

A few weeks ago we at Redeemer faced a concern with our new building (we face a new, or a bunch of concerns, issues, problems each week-but still thankful to have a building!): fellowship time snacks had peanuts. We have several kids who have severe peanut allergies, so it took our session no time to make Redeemer a peanut-free zone from here on out. Pretty much a no-brainer as there really wasn't anything to talk about.

But the ethos behind the decision is something worth another look.

A few hundred years ago a philosophy developed in England called Utilitarianism. Attributed in large part by John Stuart Mill and Jeremy Bentham, it's not too much more than just using common sense: do what provides the most good for the greatest number of people. It is also called "the greatest happiness principle." That sounds like a good idea at first. Get the most bang for your buck.

But the problem is that common sense is very often antithetical to the gospel. Utilitarianism says, "We 200 people can enjoy the peanut snacks and you 2 kids can stay away." Those are good odds and lead to lots of happy people stuffing their faces with delectable peanut filled snacks. By keeping the peanuts, we'd have more happy people. Potentially. But that's not applying the gospel.

Jesus talks about leaving the 99 for the 1 sheep who is lost (Matthew 18). Jesus talks about taking care of "the least of these," not the "most of these (Matthew 25)." The strong in the faith (probably in the majority) need to keep in mind the weak in the faith (probably in the minority-I Cor 8). Those with families (clearly in the majority) were to invite foreigners and those without family (clearly in the minority) to certain feasts (Deut 16). The Christian ethic is just not a utilitarian ethic.

Now with this case of peanuts, it's pretty simple. We don't want to physically hurt kids. Or anyone for that matter! But what about cases where it is not a life and death matter? I'm talking about legitimate needs, not preferences by the way. Do you function according to a utilitarian ethic or a gospel centered ethic always looking to the needs of the few instead of the happiness of the most?

Another example was shared to me by my closest friend some years ago. The group wanted to go to a certain beach while on a camping trip. One member of the group couldn't make it to the desired area because of a disability. Some grumbled that, "Everyone else would enjoy this beach better." My friend held fast to his decision of NO. They went to a different beach that wouldn't single out the disabled lad. The majority would serve the minority. That's a gospel ethic as opposed to the utilitarian ethic.

There will be other instances where you will as a parent or leader have to make decisions in areas not as cut and dry as peanut allergies. Most Christians tend to be more utilitarian than gospel-centered without realizing it. But it shows. Believe the gospel, apply it, and know that God is honored when the least of these are loved.



    

Why have small groups in the homes?

Several people have asked me, "Since we have a new building, will we move our CD groups into it?" My answer is an unequivocal "no." Let me explain. First of all, there is no command in scripture on where to have a CD/community/fellowship group or bible study. So they could gather in the new church building, and there may be some which eventually take place in the church. But here's why I think its best to have CD groups in homes.

1.) Homey. There is a much more, well, "homey" feel to a home. That's obviously impossible to argue. People tend to feel more comfortable in homes. You can get to know someone at church for a bit, but there is a difference when you get to know someone in a home. It just goes deeper. To me its the difference between knowing someone at work and doing something with that co-worker outside of work. It's just a different environment and that makes for a more personal relationship. I was also asked once,"We'll keep the groups in the homes when we get the building, right?" Those who meet in homes usually don't want to stop. Even one youth was sad to hear that we wouldn't keep having youth group in homes. I assured her that we would have youth group in the youth house. I guess that sufficed....But it just showed me that even some youth like that "homey" feel.

2.) Where do pastors want folks to live out their faith? We want people to live out their faith where they work, play, live. Everyone's home should be a place of discipleship. Parents are the primary instructors of their children. Parents read their bibles in their homes. Most of life happens outside the church building, and that is good. So this is but another opportunity to apply the gospel IN a place where life happens. What better way to expound and apply the gospel truth than by literally bringing fellowship, prayer, study of God's Word INTO the home?

3.) Mature disciple. The mature disciple is not someone who spends 7 nights a week at the church building. That is not maturity-that is a flight from loving your family, neighbors, non-believers. The benefit of not having a church building is that people can't be "at church" 24/7.  As a result, it is sometimes necessary to make sure folks aren't at the church building 24/7. A mature disciple cares for his/her family, cares for his/her neighbors, shows mercy, reaches out to lost, and makes other disciples, etc...These things just simply can't be done if one is at the church building all the time  (though I'm incredibly thankful for those who've spent almost whole days here getting the building ready for worship!). Having CD groups in church building doesn't mean this will happen, but simply can open the door for that mentality.

4.) Invitation A home makes it easier to invite people, particularly those who may be hesitant to come to your church. 

5.) Limitation. Having a group study in your home limits the size. CD groups really operate best when they have 8-14 people. When they get too big, it's best to multiply them. A large building offers the opportunity for a large crowd. But again, having 25 in a bible study is not the same as a well functioning small group that can seriously share prayer requests, give ALL people a chance to answer and participate in discussion. Many folks clam up when the number gets too big.

These are just some reasons why I think its best to have CD groups in homes as opposed to a church building. Some large bible study groups, lectures, seminars, training times might best occur in the church building. But I think the home is the best (I don't say only) place, in general, for a small group to thrive and eventually multiply.

Why I need CD groups

In our C.D. group (community/discipleship) last week we discussed some "gospel transitions" for how to make the "leap" without making a leap from the normal shared experiences or opinions to the gospel: such as war, politics, family, injustice, etc....These are quite helpful, so I encourage you to check them out here.  

Studying those gospel connections in community allowed all of us to share our own experiences, struggles, fears, failures, and future opportunities that individually we would have missed.

However one of the greatest confirmations for why I and YOU need to be in some sort of regularly gathering group was confirmed to me without any bit of teaching. Amy was home with a sick kid, and I was still lamenting the fact that I would be spending MORE money on my property in FL (little did I know the upcoming expenses for my house in WV just days later!), as well as a few other things.

Then during our prayer time I soon became not only convicted but encouraged. I wasn't alone. Actually folks had much rougher things going on. A small group is like Vegas, so I don't share any personal details with those outside the groups. But suffice it to say that I began to hear of other struggles and suddenly I didn't feel alone. I didn't feel so frustrated. I felt what was actually true: I'm not a pilgrim on a solo trek, but part of a caravan of struggling pilgrims. 

Even if we didn't have an encouraging study-which we did-just the mere gathering for prayer in someone's home made my problems seem much smaller. We all had problems. Some were worse, some the same. But problems shared in the home and fellowship of others are far less daunting than when they never leave your heart or your house.

Gospel-centered social media

This post is intended to be a recap of what we've been doing in Redeemer's Jr High youth group. However, it is quite applicable to all of us insecure generations living in the age of social media.

Social media like Facebook can be very helpful to stay in touch with people that you don't regularly see. The youth were quick to pick up some positives about things like texting/social media, but a little slower to see some of the negatives. However, most of the kids eventually either pointed out or agreed with the fact facebook/texting provides a "great" place to hide from people. Folks will often post or text "bold" words that they will not say in person. 

So we considered the simple question: Why? 

Genesis 3 gives us a pretty good picture of why this happens. As soon as sin entered into the world, Adam and Eve tried in vain to cover themselves and their shame. They hid behind leaves. That's why we have a tendency to hide behind a computer or cell phone screen.

So when we text message or do facebook posts that we would never say in person, it goes back to the fact that we really are not believing the gospel as much as we think. Since our sin is rooted in disbelief-as it always has from the beginning-we need to recognize that hiding behind a screen is tantamount to not believing the gospel: what Jesus has already accomplished. 

Romans 8:31-35 says that we are not condemned and no one can bring a charge against God's chosen ones. The more we believe that, the less we'll hide behind a screen. We can say things that people need to hear even if they don't want to hear them. We can then not write things that we should say in person. We can then not text things we shouldn't say at all. The more we believe the free we are to love each other.

The following Sunday we considered  how to actually use facebook/texting in a positive way. Ephesians 4:25-32 lays out some commands for verbal communication. But since much of our communication is now not verbal (for better or worse-probably latter), but written, the same thing applies to texting and facebook. Things like speaking truth in love, as opposed to responding hastily in anger or with slander, seemed to resonate with the youth. 

We instructed them to NOT EVER respond by facebook or texting while angry. I promised them, they will NEVER say, "I really wish I would have responded right away, because I would have had such great gospel centered things to say to that person that ticked me off." They will always be glad they waited. But few of us ever take the time to not respond right away. It's hard, but not impossible.

Of course the only way to do this behavior, is to go back to the gospel. Ephesians 4:32 reminds us that we forgive others as God in Christ has forgiven us. Regardless of whether the other party has repented or not, we can have compassion because God has first shown us compassion. And when we screw up on facebook and texting, and don't believe the gospel as deeply as we need, we can be rest assured that Jesus never hid behind fig leaves or a computer screen. He never slandered though he was slandered. He did it for us so that need not fear God's retribution. 

In the end, that's really the only way we become motivated to encourage one another through our text messages and facebook posts. We could have spent 30 minutes telling the youth to NOT post/text mean things, but instead TO post nice things. That would have been practical. However, that would have been no different than if they were being taught in a synagogue or a mosque. The gospel is what sets our message apart from the rest, providing forgiveness as well as power. After going back to the gospel, we then discussed some practical implications which stem from belief in it.

If you made it this far, and God bless you if you did, you've probably realized this post is just as applicable for you as it is for youth.

Some bear reflections

This past weekend the lads from Redeemer hiked a mile and a half into the Cranberry River for camping/fishing trip. While the water remained lower than we would have liked, and the fish scarcer than advertised, all had a great time bonding as we braved the outdoors. My crew of folks came in on Friday around noon, just missing the Thursday night-Friday morning bear run-in's.

Apparently the bear came in on Thursday evening and then back the next morning to climb the apple tree to gorge on some delectable little treats. Bummed that he never returned to the same spot, my friend and I made our way up to another fishing hole. He stopped and my impatience set in. I immediately headed on to try and nab a trout on a dry fly. Unfortunately for me, just 40 feet away from the same path he and I were walking on, just literally 5 minutes later, Mr. Bear came back. 

He stared at my buddy, and then continued on his trek of the woods. 5 minutes and I would have seen my bear. Complete bummer.

I accepted the results of my impatience and returned to fishing, catching my first trout on a fly in 9 years. On an indescribable high from such an experience, my thoughts eventually turned to my trip back to the campsite.

Here are a few reflections:

1.) Why walk alone? When I was walking to the fishing hole with my buddy, I thought of fish to be caught and the hope that the bear would come back in the evening when our group could watch him at a safe distance. Yet we still walked the trail as dusk approached. After my trout at 8:45 pm, I didn't walk back, I ran. Why? Because I was alone. I wasn't scared while I was with Jason-even though he is faster than me should we have been chased. Just having someone there made all the difference. When I was alone, even those 3 hotdogs and being out of shape didn't slow my fearful flight back. Why do we (and I) as Christians, prefer to do life alone sometimes? Why run, when we can walk and enjoy our journey with our brothers and sisters in the faith?

2.) Terms. I mentioned to everyone that I wanted to see that bear, but on my own terms. Someone asked what are your terms? When he is at a safe distance, up in a tree, while I'm on the ground, surrounded by friends, several of whom have loaded guns. I didn't get my wish. He didn't appear to me on my terms. But he did appear to a number of others who did not express such demands. After all, they were "his" woods (at least more so than ours).

Sometimes I think we put demands and terms upon God, and then are surprised when he doesn't show up. We don't experience Him the way others may because our terms usually imply what we can get out of Him: a better feeling, family, spouse, or house. God sets the terms of which we come to Him. We come to Him through His Son in repentance and faith. Consequently we experience and grow in Him the same way, through repentance and faith in His Son, repenting of our "terms."

3.) Safety? I asked the waitress at a local diner when was the last time someone had been attacked by a bear? Sandy, the 70 year old waitress knew of no such incident in the area. I had 60 pounds, by estimation, on this particular bear. Even though I might be able to bench press more than him, he would certainly take me down without too much effort (these bears weren't de-clawed like housecats). A bear is not safe, but apparently in these woods, he is good. Reminded me of Aslan in the Narnia series. Yes God is not safe, but He is good. He is not safe because He will call out and crush our idols, but He is good because that is the best thing for us.

Baptism thoughts

This past Sunday, my 8 month old Cade, now free of chicken pox, received the covenant sign of baptism. We took my three year old boy Connar out of the nursery so that he could be a part of it. During the prayer he asked if he could put water on Cade's head too. Nice.

He expressed a desire to be a part of Cade's baptism from the get-go, even telling random people Cade would be getting baptized. His desire to play an active role in Cade's baptism is admirable. And playing in active role after baptism is quite attainable, yet often over-looked.

One of my favorite parts of the baptism is the question asked of the covenant community. Do you promise to assist the parents in the raising of this child? Sometimes I wonder if people really believe what they say.

I have no reason to believe my current church Redeemer's members are anything but sincere. Each month we have to use nearly 50-60 adults for the two nurseries, Sunday School, children's church, and youth groups. That's probably even a conservative estimate. When people promise to help the parents, that doesn't mean ONLY serving an existing children's ministry, but I think it would be disingenuous to quickly rule out serving in an existing children's ministry. Such are opportunities designed not to replace parents, but to assist them. And we all need assistance.

But formal existing ministries like programs are only part of the picture. In their book Essential Church, Thom and Sam Rainer claim one of the few consistent factors present in the youth who continued their faith in college was adult relationships. Most had a number of them. The more the merrier. A youth pastor and parents are not enough. Our youth need more than that, and that's why I try to include a team of adults and parents as often as possible in youth ministry.

I wonder how seriously I, and other parents take their children's baptism. It's not just a "precious" time (though it was quite moving to watch the video). You are vowing before God and others to raise the child in a Christian home, dedicating him to the Lord. That's pretty serious stuff.  I play baseball with Connar in the front yard on my lunch break and before/after dinner about every day. But I think baptism reminds me of something more important: that God will be faithful in my "informal" ministry times (which definitely outweigh the number of "formal" times like Jesus Story Book Bible reading), so I should take advantage of every available "teaching" moment.

Finally, I also wonder why Presbyterian parents sometimes don't take advantage of, or want any covenant community involvement in raising their children. Over the years I've seen folks who just don't want any help, and I can't figure that out. I've seen folks agonize about whether or not their children will attend their own church's VBS. Still, other folks just don't care about discipleship of their children and so don't make the necessary lifestyle adjustments. Both seem to goes against the flow of the covenant community structure called the church with which we've been so blessed. 

I'm thankful to have (and have had at my previous church) a covenant community who has shown love to my two baptized boys and assisted Amy and I in training and raising them. I hope the same is true for you, both in serving or being served by your local covenant community: the church.

Anyhow, these are my baptism thoughts for the day.

No one "noodles" alone

Some folks down in Texas got some good news this week. They could possibly join 17 other States, including neighboring Oklahoma, and be allowed to "noodle." Noodling is the art-if you want to call wiggling your fingers into a rock pile or submerged structure and waiting for a catfish to bite them art-of catching catfish with your hands. Once the fish bites down on your fingers (again, if I didn't lose you at catfish, I'm assuming I lost you "bite down on your fingers"), you use your other hand to help wrestle the fish to the surface. And in the end, you have, a catfish.

Some states have "noodling" tournaments and even "noodling" guides and businesses with "resorts" (RV type campers) to house first time catfish angler-wranglers. I've seen TV specials where stereotypical working moms from D.C. have actually left family and work for "noodling" vacations.

Of course the reason noodling is illegal in most states is because people die from noodling. Forget the fact that it might not be a good idea go into snake infested waters and stick your hand in a fish's mouth. Remember the fact that catfish can get big and they don't like getting wrestled to the surface. People drown. Not the way I would want to go: "I fought the fish and the fish won."

What possesses a man or woman to noodle? Demons? Probably not, though I don't rule it out completely. Is it the thrill of catching something with your bare hands? It's probably more than that-though not necessarily less than that-because serious noodlers describe it as a way of life.

I'm not a noodle insider, historian, groupie, or buff, but have seen a number of noodling specials on TV. One thing I've noticed is that people don't noodle alone. You need someone to come in and pull you to the surface if Mr. Catfish becomes unusually reluctant to give up his spot. I guess you could say noodling begets a community centered around helping and being helped. Or perhaps the need for such a community begets noodling? 

With normal fishing, you don't need anyone. And some people like that. But latent within the "art" of noodling comes a recognition that you need the help of others. You need them and they need you. While I'll not wiggle my fingers underwater for a catfish to bite them, I can at least see and appreciate that the need for noodling goes beyond primordial hunting. It might be just as much about community than catfish. Maybe. 


More video on noodling here.

Facebook community of young and old: ammended

My cousin once told me, "I don't have accept facebook friend requests for people over 30." I asked about myself, and she said, "Sorry, even you!" I laughed, and later realized that she'll have to "up" the age restriction to 40 in several years when she turns 30.

It's a shame, but this type of facebook age discrimination takes place in the covenant community called the church. I can remember one of my former youth explaining, "I don't want that old guy looking at my pictures. That's creepy." Perhaps it is. I can't get in the mind of a teenage girl-nor do I necessarily want to be there! But what about older ladies? Should that be creepy too?

Earlier this week, one of my ex-"friends" on facebook posted something a bit concerning (my comments got me de-friended). It was the standard youth self-centered myopic comments I've come to know and but not so much love, yet expect. But what was beautiful was an older "friend" in her 70's who offered a simple regret and disappointment at such a post. The day before she even questioned a related post, explaining that the life of a teenager isn't as bad as teenager's think. Easier said, or written, than done. 

Whether or not any of these concerns were or will be taken to heart is hard to tell. Yet I think its a beautiful thing for teenagers to have more adults involved in their lives than only their parents and some sort of youth pastor. It takes a whole covenant community, and it is a beautiful to see the older taking an interest in the younger. 

Now facebook involvement is hardly a substitute for real community. But perhaps it is a start, and can be a place where the young and old BEGIN to do life together, sojourning along this difficult path we call the Christian life.